Curious Researcher Revision Response

After reading the assigned pages from the Curious Researcher, I felt hopeful. I have previously done some of the suggested exercises and found them to be helpful. The cut and paste method really helps you to pare down your draft and get to bone structure. I loved how he talked about becoming attached to your draft. I find that to be so true. After having put all the time into these 8+ page drafts it is hard to cut the hard earn text out and go back and start again.


The benefits to re-research are immense. Adding some new articles here and there finding more information about your topic, all these things will be beneficial to any one revising a draft. I also liked how that tied in with the rewriting your thesis exercise. By rewriting our thesis we may discover a new alley into our central idea or as Ballenger says, you can “re-see” your draft in a new light.

I am excited to start the revision process and try to discover my drafts in a new way that will make them clearer and possibly much better. I think that revision is the most important process we can learn from English 102. A first draft is always important for without it we cannot revise but you publish first drafts. Learn to revise effectively will benefit us in all facets of life. Whether we are English majors or Engineers, we will be writing reports or books and we need to be able to revise those to make them more understandable and to be able to see where they need to be improved upon.

Response to Revision Reading in The Curious Researcher
The beginning of the chapter about revising for purpose started off talking about how someone might be reluctant to revise their writing. I actually am just the opposite, I enjoy revising to make my writing better, finding a way to enhance my readers understanding. In the Air Force we had a saying, “No pride in authorship”.
The next pages on showing how to reassemble in cut-and-paste revision and the use of the highlighters are excellent ideas and show how you should organize your ideas even if you don’t use those methods. The breakdown of the questions to ask a reader for feedback are an excellent place to start with yourself before you even begin revising your paper. Although I am not really fond of the cut-and-paste revision process as an actual act, it does point out many processes that are useful such as finding, and building up from, the core paragraph.
To me, the most useful part of this reading is the Revising for Information section that relates not only how to dig for more information, but that we should dig. This allows the author of the paper to add information that may make their point clearer or more pertinent.
The last part on how something is said and not just what is said, or the voice it is said in, is a problem I think most beginning writers might overlook. However, one point this portion made me think of that wasn’t mentioned was to read and revise for punctuation. Nothing can ruin a well written and thought out paper faster than a poorly placed period or quotation mark.
Overall, I would say this reading has been the most helpful oout of all of the readings from The Curious Researcher.

Rseponse for Ballenger's Revision Reading

This reading got right to the crux of what I really had questions about regarding revision. I’ve always seen revision as just kind of “cleaning things up” instead of really trying improve my draft and refine the things I’m trying to say, so it was great to actually read about some strategies for distancing myself from my writing so that my revision can be more productive. I also really identified with the metaphor the author used relating a relationship to a writer’s relationship with the draft--I too have always been afraid of “breaking up” with my draft and it’s always hard to make changes because I’m afraid of wrecking things that are successful. Not knowing how to revise well has probably contributed to mediocre writing on my part in the past, simply because once I finished the first draft, I didn’t know where to go.

Luckily, I gained some direction from this reading about where to go now that I’m thinking about the portfolio project. Before reading this, I wasn’t really all that sure where to start with my revision or how to get going, but just by studying this reading I got kind of a better idea of where to move from here. Already I have several ideas about revisions that can be made in my ethnography and my argument paper.

I felt like this reading was also central to my goals in this class. I have never really had any problem with writing in such a way that I can be understood, the problem I have always had is in improving upon my first drafts and turning my mediocre writing into great writing. Because this was the main goal I set for this class, this reading about revision seemed to be particularly applicable to me.

Final

Andrew Pharis
12 November 2009
“On the Road, Off the Phone”
Today’s society is driven by the ability to communicate instantaneously. We depend on things like email and text messaging to communicate with employers, friends, and even family. In America this year there will be over a trillion text messages sent. That is equal to about 690,000 texts a minute. That means that by the time you are done reading this article there will have been about 7 million text messages sent. We have become accustomed to getting answers now; we no longer have to wait the four days it would take to receive a letter in the mail. So accustomed in fact that we can no longer wait to get home before emailing our coworker-- Instead we grab our cell phone and text them, while driving home. This act has been dubbed texting while driving and more generally distracted driving.
Distracted Driving is a growing concern among the American public. According to US Department of Transportation, in 2008 distracted driving caused about sixteen percent of automobile related deaths in America and over a half million injuries. Those numbers have been consistently growing since 2004.
Law makers realize there is a problem and are doing what they do best, passing laws banning texting while driving. President Obama has recently passed a law prohibiting federal employs from texting while driving. That law will affect about 4.5 million people. Well what about the other 295 million of us? So far 18 states and the District of Columbia have passed laws banning texting while driving. Are the other 32 states waiting for this to become an epidemic? We have the opportunity to stem the growth of this phenomenon, let us do just that.
While laws are a good start they do not solve the issue entirely. Many people think that they would prefer to take the chance of getting caught in order to maintain the convenience of their cell phone. In a college classroom where cell phone use has been prohibited at least half of the class will be secretly texting under their desks. Why? Because they prefer the convenience over the chance of penalty.
Educational programs are the answer. In order to effectively combat the masses of distracted drivers we must get them before they have the opportunity to become distracted drivers; starting with drivers education courses.
Secretary of the US DOT Ray LaHood states before the Distracted Driving Summit, ““We’ve learned from past safety awareness campaigns that it takes a coordinated strategy combining education and enforcement to get results.” The combination of law enforcement and education is the proven method of success.
Incorporating driver awareness about distracted driving into drivers education courses would be inexpensive and very effective. Kathryne a recent graduate of drivers education said “We had to watch a video about what happens when you drive while texting and it was pretty eye opening, you just don’t really think about the consequences of the action.” By making new drivers aware of the issue we cut off the flow of new driver problems and can then focus our resources to making current drivers aware of the dangers.
Programs like “On the Road Off the Phone” are doing just that. They are trying to bring the issue to people’s attention. These programs need our support if we are to ever completely rid ourselves of driving distracted.
Driving while distracted is just as dangerous as driving while under the influence. Any of you who have lost loved ones to a distracted driver know the pain and heartache involved in such situations. So next time you jump into the car just throw your phone into the glove box, or turn it off. Remember On the Road OFF the Phone! Think of the lives you could be saving.

MMORPG's: All Things in Moderation, Even World of Warcraft

MMORPG's (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games) like World of Warcraft and EverQuest enjoy huge fan bases with millions of new subscribers flocking daily into what economist Edward Castronova calls "synthetic worlds". Unfortunately, to adapt a phrase coined by Uncle Ben from the Spider-Man movie franchise, with great popularity has come great scrutiny. Numerous media reports and psychological studies have focused on the harmful effects of addiction to MMORPG's, but are these studies showing all sides of the issue?

While it's certainly true that MMORPG's can be habit-forming, recent evidence suggests that membership in the kind of online community that these games create can also be an enriching experience. A study conducted by psychiatrists Helena Cole and Mark Griffiths found that MMORPG's can be "highly socially interactive environments providing the opportunity to create strong friendships and emotional relationships." Specifically, people who have trouble making friends in the "real" world often find it easier to interact with others and overcome natural shyness in online communities. So what is the factor that causes some players to become trapped in a cycle of self-destructive behavior and others to go on living healthy, normal lives?

The answer, according to MMORPG researcher Dr. Nicholas Yee, is the amount of time an individual spends playing, or as he puts it, "dependence is highly correlated with hours played per week." Similarly to the way in which gambling or shopping addictions form, players only open themselves to addiction and the accompanying problems when they play for excessive amounts of time. The solution to the problem of addiction, then, lies not in abolishing or stigmatizing MMORPG's, but in the old axiom, "moderation in all things".

One possible solution to the problem of MMORPG addiction would be to have the government implement technology that would limit the use of specific internet sites to a predetermined amount of time per day. Though this might work in a country like China (which indeed has already enacted these kinds of restrictions on internet use), previous experience tells us that Americans would likely resent any attempt by the government to regulate internet use in this manner.

Government regulation is also notoriously difficult to enact. Amy Jordan of the Annenberg Public Policy Center points out, "government media policymakers are in the unenviable position of walking the fine (and often moving) line between the best interests of a capitalist, speech-protected society and the best interests of the vulnerable [child]." If government cannot regulate MMORPG usage (as Jordan makes clear), then that leaves only one option--we must moderate ourselves.

The easiest means of achieving this goal is for MMORPG players and their loved ones to recognize the risks of addiction and to work together to ensure moderate use. Many MMORPG's, including World of Warcraft and EverQuest, now offer parental control features that allow parents to limit play by their children and these features are readily available and easy to use. The fact that very few parents take advantage of these features seems to show that only apathy about the risks of MMORPG overuse has prevented parents of players from ensuring safe use.

If parents and loved ones of players became more involved in moderating MMORPG use, the rates of addiction would decline and we could prevent its unpleasant effects. This would ensure that players could enjoy a healthy, fulfilling hobby without the dangerous effects resulting from MMORPG addiction.

Whenever a “new” threat comes along and affects or children and teenagers, parents tend to rise up and fight the evils that endanger our offspring. Now a new challenge is on the horizon. A challenge to our descendants that is used in the classroom to assist teachers in instructing our youth. The challenge of Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games, or MMORPGs, is here.
Studies show a link between playing violent MMORPGs and increased violent thoughts and actions by children and adolescents. The reactions of people who play these games have shown an increase in violent tendencies when problem solving or faced with a difficult or stressful situation.
Other studies have shown differing effects on males and females, but both still suffer negative consequences. Two researchers at Brigham Young University, undergrad Alex Jensen and faculty member Laura Walker, published their results Jan. 23 in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence and had this to say, “Statistical analyses …revealed that the more young adults play video games, the more frequent their involvement in risky behaviors like drinking and drug abuse. Young adults who played video games daily reported smoking pot almost twice as often as occasional players, and three times as often as those who never play.” (emphasis mine). This shows a clear correlation between the world of video gaming and other forms of destructive behavior and as we will see next, this includes anger.
Some studies look at the emotional effects of these MMORPGs as they almost always include extreme violence of the hacking, slashing and bloodletting kind. Iowa State University Assistant Professor of Psychology Douglas Gentile, the center's associate director and recently elected president of the International Society for Research in Aggression, and Akira Sakamoto -- an associate professor of psychology at Ochanomizu University and a leading violent video games researcher in Japan –presented a new study on the correlation between violent video games and childhood aggression. Their research links a study done earlier by Iowa State University which looked at 364 American children between the ages of 9 and 12 with two studies done in Japan on over 1,200 Japanese school age children with ages ranging from 12 to 18.
According to Professor Gentile, “Basically what we found was that in all three samples [studies], a lot of violent video game play early in a school year leads to higher levels of aggression during the school year, as measured later in the school year…[and they] showed significant increases in aggression in children who played a lot of video games.” Gentile also showed how these games “…create opportunities to be vigilant for enemies, to practice aggressive ways of responding to conflict and to see aggression as acceptable. In practical terms, that means when bumped in the hallway, children see it as hostile and react more aggressively…” These games are leading to a more aggressive generation with, as quoted in previously cited studies, less social interaction abilities, a dangerous combination.
According to Gentile “Playing violent games leads to increased physiological arousal, increased aggressive thoughts, increased aggressive feelings, increased aggressive behaviors, and decreased pro-social helping.” How do you get Johnny to be kind to his little sister Susie after he has spent the past eight hours slashing, gouging, punching, kicking, and smashing his way through orcs, goblins, and monsters of all shapes and sizes? After he has spent the last five hours entrenched in a video game that uses endorses car theft, sex, drugs and foul language (not necessarily in that order), how do you get him to take out the trash?
Are we willing to raise the next generation to be video crack addicts?
Am I saying we should do away with video games all together? No. But we, especially parents, cannot afford the almost endless stream of quarters being fed to the arcade version of these games. Children grew up in years, even centuries, past without the newest X-box, Playstation or Nintendo. Examine what your kids are playing and use the age old antidote for all problems adolescent-parental involvement.

On the Road Off the Phone

Today’s society is driven by the ability to communicate instantaneously. We depend on things like email and text messaging to communicate with employers, friends, and even family. In America this year there will be over a trillion text messages sent. That is equal to about 690,000 texts a minute. That means that by the time you are done reading this article there will have been about 7 million text messages sent. We have become accustomed to getting answers now; we no longer have to wait the four days it would take to receive a letter in the mail. So accustomed in fact that we can no longer wait to get home before emailing or coworker-- Instead we grab or cell phone and text them, while driving home. This act has been dubbed texting while driving and more generally distracted driving.

Distracted Driving is a growing concern among the American public. According to US Department of Transportation, in 2008 distracted driving caused about sixteen percent of automobile related deaths in America and over a half million injuries. Those numbers have been consistently growing since 2004.

Law makers realize there is a problem and are doing what they do best, passing laws banning texting while driving. President Obama has recently passed a law prohibiting federal employs from texting while driving. That law will affect about 4.5 million people. Well what about the other 295 million of us? So far 18 states and the District of Columbia have passed laws banning texting while driving. Are the other 32 states waiting for this to become an epidemic? We have the opportunity to stem the growth of this phenomenon, let us do just that.

While laws are a good start they do not solve the issue entirely. Many people think that they would prefer to take the chance of getting caught in order to maintain the convenience of their cell phone. In a college classroom where cell phone use has been prohibited at least half of the class will be secretly texting under their desks. Why, because they prefer the convenience over the chance of penalty.

Educational programs are the answer. In order to effectively combat the masses of distracted drivers we must get them before they have the opportunity to become distracted drivers; starting with drivers education courses.

Secretary of the US DOT Ray LaHood states before the Distracted Driving Summit, ““We’ve learned from past safety awareness campaigns that it takes a coordinated strategy combining education and enforcement to get results.” The combination of law enforcement and education is the proven method of success.

Incorporating driver awareness about distracted driving into drivers education courses would be inexpensive and very effective. Kathryne a recent graduate of drivers education said “We had to watch a video about what happens when you drive while texting and it was pretty eye opening, you just don’t really think about the consequences of the action.” By making new drivers aware of the issue we cut off the flow of new driver problems and can then focus our resources to making current drivers aware of the dangers.

Programs like “On the Road Off the Phone” are doing just that. They are trying to bring the issue to people’s attention. These programs need our support if we are to ever completely rid ourselves of driving distracted.

So next time you jump into the car just throw your phone into the glove box, or turn it off. Remember On the Road OFF the Phone! Think of the lives you could be saving.

Pick Your Poison; CO, CO2, NOx

No matter how you slice it, dice it, chop it, mix it, or even exhaust it, it’s still poison and we release it into the atmosphere every time we fire up that gas guzzling human hauler. As time goes on we continue to destroy the most valuable resource of our very existence.

How polluting are these three gasses and what produces them?

Automobiles by far are the most producing means of these gases and account for:
• 76 percent of the carbon monoxide (CO) in our atmosphere.
• 33 percent of the carbon dioxide (CO2) in our atmosphere.
• 30 percent of the nitrogen oxide (NOx) in our atmosphere.

According to USA.ORG there were roughly 247.4 Million registered vehicles in 2005 in the USA alone. Now combine that statistic with the fact that CO, CO2 and DOx account for roughly 21 pounds of pollutions for every gallon of gas burned, carbon dioxide accounts for approximately 19.6 pounds of the 21 pounds. That is approximately 7.8 billion pounds of pollution exhausted in to our atmosphere every day.

What health effects do they pose on humanity?

Carbon monoxide affects the bloods ability to carry oxygen to vital organs like the heart and brain. Carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxide both create adverse effects to the respiratory system. These gases are not only harmful to the respiratory system they pose serious risks to those with weakened immune systems along with other diseases like diabetes, heart disease.

When should we start to worry?

The atmosphere has managed thus far but how much time do we really have before it’s too late? I’m not sure that time is the best cause for concern. We are all aware of the smog issue and most of us have probably seen it firsthand. It’s there, it’s disgusting and we have the ability to stop it but we don’t.

We don’t stop it because we are so caught up in our own fast paced lives that we just let it be. After all it is easier to let someone else deal with it. Once more, what really makes us feel better about it is our ability to justify it as, no matter what we do to clean it up there will be an adverse affect from that method and we will be no better off.

Even if we do try to clean things up what are our options?

Hybrid vehicles are cleaner and are a step in the right direction but most hybrids still average 50 miles per gallon. That is still a lot of pollution emitted in to the earth’s atmosphere.

Hydrogen fuel cell vehicles are still fifteen to thirty years out and according to Joseph J. Romm this alternative is not cost effective nor does it pose much cleaner statistics for the atmosphere.

What about the electric car? It was tested in California for five years and according to the people that leased them they were fantastic vehicles. They were aesthetically pleasing with lots of power to get you everywhere you needed to go in a normal days travel. And the best thing about them is they have zero emissions.

How do we get these zero emissions vehicles (electric car) as an option to purchase for use?

There are many ways to possess an electric vehicle but in order for it to become viable the government has to step in and mandate some laws. Laws that force the production of zero emission vehicles. It doesn’t have to be an overnight solution but it does need to start now.

So as a citizen that cares for your environment you will need to write your congress man and plant the seed for zero emission vehicles. Only then will we start to reverse the negative effects we stated well over a century ago.

To be OR not to .... whatever

They Say/ I Say

This reading brought our argument assignment into a new light for me. The amount of information given to us through this reading was tremendous. From the very beginning the authors state that the most important part of writing is that it have a point. And that to have this the writer must "state his or her thesis but also what the larger conversation around it is."

The part of this reading i found to be most helpful was the section dealing with the order in which things are said. I think that we are mislead, as writers, into stating our thesis to soon and not giving time to develop the larger picture that we are responding to. This advice really helped me get my head pointed in the right direction for this paper.

The other important aspect to this reading i found on page 52. It talks about stating, clearly, whether you agree or disagree with the subject and also stating why. Often times when you are reading an essay or even listening to a speech, you are left wondering why. Why did i need to listen or read that? What was the driving factor in producing this work? The most important thing we are learning in this English class is the process of inquiry and how it drives us.

They Say I Say

The point of this assignment is to give the writer some insight on how to structure his or her argument. Make a point to take a side and don’t waiver as many people are prone to do. Make sure you make a summary of your point early on so the reader of your work knows what is it you are trying to get across to the audience. Don’t assume that every one of the readers is going to know what your argument is about. I have read a lot of articles that I have wondered what the point of author is.
If you agree, disagree or hold the stance of both sides just make sure that your data is in line with what it is you are siding with. Don’t get caught making claims and contradicting yourself later in the paper; it just discredits the soundness of the paper. Also be careful not to belittle or criticize the points that others have said. Merely state your own rebuttals and move on, it should always be ok for others to have different opinions and more likely than not there will be differences in opinions.
Another key point of the article is to explain yourself in your words, not the words of others. Spend some time on paper telling your story on your stance with why you believe the way you do. As mentioned in the article, if you simply cite your feelings with all of the rest then what is it you are arguing about. Is it just to argue, because you haven’t really taken a stance you have just taken someone else’s stance.
Again, this is just another piece of the puzzle that helps us with the assignment that we are faced with. This will no doubt stop me with where I am at in putting my writing information together and reorganize it more to the suggested structure. And using as many of the examples as I can fit in to my work. This article will be useful for me as I look at my premises and decide how to use them in setting up my conclusions in a way that doesn’t confuse the reader. Should be interesting getting there.

They Say, I Say Response

I felt this reading was extremely useful on many levels. I have always been able to articulate arguments fairly clearly, having been a debater in high school. However, I have never really understood how you should address opposing points of view without making your own position seem weaker, so I think the main thing I took out of the reading was a better understanding of how to address the opposition without undermining yourself. I especially liked how the authors gave templates and examples to illustrate what they were talking about.

I also liked that there was a template given illustrating how to introduce a point of view that is nearly unanimous--the argument I’m focusing on for my paper is almost a common knowledge viewpoint and there aren’t many people arguing the opposing point of view. The reading actually answered my questions about how to approach that kind of situation by agreeing, but drawing some difference between the established position and your stance, or moderating your agreement with a little disagreement on some points. Besides, if you don’t bring anything new to the discussion, you might as well just let people read articles by others and save yourself the trouble of contributing to the conversation. It’s only valuable if you have something original to say.

In the context of this class, I thought that this reading could be applied to all kinds of writing--rather than just the argument essay. I think all writers would benefit from the advice regarding understanding the position of your audience and from the section about stating your topic clearly. I think we’ve all read articles or paper where the author has difficulty getting to any kind of point, and it just makes you feel you’ve wasted your time as a reader. Understanding how to clearly state your point prevents your reader from getting bored before they even get to the relevant portion of your writing.

Response to They Say, I Say
I enjoyed this article much more than Orwell’s. The writing was more to the point and,
I thought, more openly helpful to writing an argument paper.
The opening story showed the need for clarity and in getting to the point so your readers don’t
lose interest or become fuddled as to the position you are taking on a subject. As is stated on
page 18, “…that to give writing the most important thing of all –namely, a point – a writer needs
to indicate clearly not only for his…thesis…but also what…that thesis is responding to.”
The suggestions throughout the article were excellent, especially the pointers on starting the
Article. “…you could start with an illustrative quotation, a revealing fact or statistic, or…a
relative anecdote.”
The chapter on Three Ways to Respond also shed light on the “…agreeing, disagreeing, or
some combination of both…” viewpoints. The ability to illustrate the differences between
positions of pro, con, or both, was clear and extremely informative. The instructions to give
reason to your agreement or disagreement instead of just agreeing or disagreeing illuminated
an obvious but much overlooked point, that your argument should always be backed up with
substance.
Chapter three also brings up the use of the “twist it” move and shows how studies and
information can be used by the writer in a number of ways to support their particular viewpoint.
This can be extremely important to keep in mind when researching your paper. You might be
inclined to disregard a source (article, interview and such) because it disagrees with your
position on a topic, but this chapter shows you how you might be able to use an opposing
argument in your favor. This is a tactic I have found very useful when stating a position
because it not only supports your view, but undermines your opponents view. Sort of like killing
two birds with one stone, you add members of the audience to your side while subtracting
members from their side.

George Orwell, Politics and the English Language

The point that I got from this reading was keeping your paper rather simple. Don’t try to fluff it up with vague passages. The truth is that the English language allows us to write with a lot of fluff in which many writers do perhaps to fill space or even to sound more sophisticated. It was somewhat comforting to have Orwell site poor passages that as I read them had to agree myself. Some of my difficulties with reading philosophy is trying to decipher what the philosopher is trying to say. If they would just say it in laymen’s terms they might reach more of an audience. Stick to the basics as stated near the end of the essay in the rules section and based on how I write I couldn’t agree more.
After getting through most of this essay I couldn’t help but think this could be construed as an argument paper. I got the feeling that Orwell was trying to persuade me not to write in a certain way. He backed it up with examples, took his stance and cited information towards his claim and in turn also gave me some insight on writing. So there you have it, two birds with one stone. Maybe this essay could be a good example of an argument paper?
The advice given in this essay on keeping it simple, clear and concise will help prepare my thoughts on my argument paper. The point to stay clear of vague meanings is well taken. As a writer you want to write to a point and make it clear so the reader knows how to react to the writing without be confused. Don’t look for big fancy words to dramatize the significance of what’s being said. Try to stay away from the same ole cliché when writing; you never know when one of your readers may associate a totally different image of the cliché than what you are trying to get across. After all, it’s not how you impress your audience but whether or not you left them with the right impressions.

In response to Orwell’s Politics and the English Language
Orwell has brought up a great many points is this article. I find the most helpful were the four points, followed by two more, he made about the scrupulous writer. Orwell states “1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?” followed by two add-ons, “Could I put it more shortly? 2. Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?” I believe these questions sum up the majority of what the article has to say and at the same time offers good advice.
Another interesting part of the article is the comments on political speeches and there need for “…sheer cloudy vagueness.” and how this contributes to the deterioration of the English language. As other here politicians speak, they take it as acceptable and imitate it in their own speech or writing
I also enjoyed Orwell’s use of his own brand of euphemisms, such as how certain phrases “…are a continuous temptation, like a pack of aspirins always at one’s elbow.”
So often we resort to extemporary words trying to paint a picture that couldn’t be contained in a photograph. As Orwell points out, sometimes the best way to say something is simple and straightforward.
One thing I disagreed with though. His complaints about the letter written to the Tribune in Great Britain he labeled as paragraph 5. I lived in Great Britain for two years and this letter was as standard a speech I heard while I was there. It was my experience they really do form their sentence structure that way (unfortunately).
As a side note, and to end this response, while reading this article two things immediately jumped to mind even before I had finished reading the second page.
One is how Orwell’s other writings might be perceived today, and the other was about a book I read by Robert A. Heinlein called The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. That book kept coming to mind as I read Politics because Mistress’ writing style is how we text messages today on our cell phones. I would love to see what Orwell has to say about that, and how we use spellcheck.

Orwell: Politics and The English Language

This is an astounding piece. This is my first encounter with George Orwell’s writing and I will not be my last. In the very beginning of this piece he illustrates the main point, although the written and even spoken English has deteriorated we can fix it. His analogy of the man who starts drinking draws a vivid picture of where we are with the English language and where we are headed.

Our writing and speaking has become so convoluted that we spend more time trying to come up with clever ways of not saying something. In this essay it was easy to see his point of view and determine what his argument was. That all derives from him avoiding all the, “Dying Metaphors, Operators or Verbal False Limbs, Pretentious Diction, etc. “ I think that this convulsion has occurred mainly due to societies movement toward the ease of communication. We use text messaging instead of calling to communicate, or even email instead of letters. Our “need for speed” is causing us to develop lazy communication habits.

It is a novel idea that, as he states “It is often easier to make up words of this kind….than to think up the English words that will cover one’s meaning. The result, in general, is an increase in slovenliness and vagueness.” It is easier for us to make stuff up than to just say what we mean. We then dilute the meaning of our message and sometimes destroy it all together.

Orwell also states “the great enemy of clear language is insincerity.” If we don’t truly, sincerely, mean what we are trying to convey, than the meaning is lost and we are just rambling. He says never use a long word where a short one will do, be active, and so on.” Basically all we need do is simplify our English and our message will come out loud and clear.

I think that a goal we should all have is to learn from Orwell and discover how to communicate effectively especially through writing. Learn to state our intent and stick to it, using clear effective language. If we can do this, our society will prosper. Communication is the answer to a lot of the problems our nation faces.

Politics and the English Language: Response

This was a great reading from one of my favorite authors, and I agree with all of Orwell’s points. I also think the sort of writing that Orwell deplored in the 1940’s is, in many ways, more prevalent today--especially in the realms of academia and politics. Often it seems like words are chosen not to express meaning, but to conceal it, which is opposite to the way things should be.

As we move forward with our argument papers, I think it’s important that we remember that our purpose in writing them is to persuade others of our point of view, and that it’s impossible to do that if you’re afraid of your meaning yourself. Good writing clearly communicates the writer’s thoughts--it doesn’t conceal them. Particularly in academia I think the tendency is to try and communicate how intelligent you are by using complicated words and flowery metaphors, rather than express meaning.

This is exactly why many people in our current society choose to remain uneducated about critical issues--it’s just easier to remain ignorant about the issues than it is to try and decipher some professor or politician’s “psychobabble”. If all writers approached their subjects clearly, more people would be interested in the issues.

I also related this reading to one of my goals for this class, which is to learn to write more clearly and achieve the quality in my writing that Orwell saw lacking in much of the writing of his time. The “four questions” that Orwell suggested every writer ask before penning a sentence will be an especially useful tool as I continue to write for this class and in future classes--if I can keep a clear vision of why I am writing the argument paper (or any other paper) and approach my writing in terms of how well it accomplishes that objective, then my writing will improve, because I will be writing critically as well as thinking critically.

My Response to the Curious Writer Reading

I really identified well with this reading because I was a debater in high school and already know something about crafting an argument and defending it. However, I also felt that I learned some new things from this reading.

One of the most interesting sections of the reading to me was the part about logical fallacies. I saw that as particularly applicable going into the first draft of my argument essay, because it caused me to think about how I will need to construct my paper in order to avoid them. Also, it helped me group the basic arguments I will be making and see where my additional research should lead me and where I need to find additional evidence.

Another part of the reading that I felt particularly applied to my own writing was the passage about writing for different types of audiences. It was instructive for me to consider the kind of audience I will be writing to and to think about the types of sources and writing styles that will help me to reach that target audience. I thought the parallel to advertising was especially good and helped me think about “advertising” to my target audience instead of just writing for the sake of writing.

I also connected with the section about revision--I have always approached revision as kind of a “clean-up” the way the students in the cited survey did, and it was new for me to think about revision as “re-seeing” the essay and actually re-forming thoughts and ideas to reflect growth. I see that as fitting for this class, given the fact that we will be turning in a final portfolio at the end of the semester with revised copies of each unit project. Now that I’m considering revision in a more desirable light, I’ll be prepared to hand in something that’s genuinely improved over the first draft, and not just a “cleaned up” copy of the original.

Ballenger....What?

In this segment of Bruce Ballengers book, The Curious Writer, he instructs readers in the appropriate style and processes of crafting a good argument. One of the most important things he points out is the differences between a well crafted argument and a blubbering idiot with an opinion. He differentiates between arguing hot with a hot head and putting together an argument you feel passionate about. He says, "In the hands of a good writer the op-ed can move people to think and act", which is ultimately the point for most people in writing these sorts of essays. These points really helped me realize that it is important to not only research so that i will know a lot about my topic but also to remain focused on the issue during the argument. The issue is what you are arguing not slamming people or their decisions. I appreciated the section in which he listed a few introduction lines from some op-ed essays, and also pointed out that they are more informal where as the argument essay we are writing initially is more formal and should have a good solid base of information we are pulling from.


Ballenger, as usual, tied the point into the main theme we have been confronting this semester and that is the process of inquiry. By asking the right questions, and learning about our subculture, we as human beings are lead directly into forming an opinion or judgment about the group in question. By asking the questions and following the inquiry process, we find the underlying conflicts and positions going on inside our subcultures. If we stay open-minded and research these different conflicts we could write a stellar argument paper based on our opinions and also upheld by facts. It is also important, as Ballenger points out, that we understand all sides of the argument, so we can better craft our views and represent our ideas effectively. He also illustrates that no issue is black and white, there is no agree or disagree, there are many sides to each individual argument. Can you remember the last survey you took? They no longer have the three columns of agree, disagree, and neutral. They are littered with at least five separate selections including; strongly agree, agree, somewhat agree, neutral, etc. Our world is not simple and therefore our arguments and disagreements are also not simple.


It is also good to be reminded of the best steps to create a good draft, and also to revising that draft. The more drafts and input you can obtain the better your ultimate result will be. Although i agree with that process and know it works, its still hard to find the time you would like to put into your draft, after all we are students and have many classes and jobs and families :-).
This whole chapter is a segue into our Unit 2 project. Really helping us to wrap our heads around the idea of the argument. By educating us in this field of writing will really help us in the future. I can think of many instance where this will help me with my chosen career path of Construction Management. If I am able to put together a document that gets my thoughts and ideas across in a persuasive manner I will be able to influence the audience to heed my counsel. Also we learn to back up our writing with research which is vitally important in the job industry. This allows us to establish creditability with our communication skills. Thus, improving our chances to obtain jobs and also keep them.

Writing an Argument

As we embark on the next assignment we have yet more informal information to help start us down the paper and ink path. Ballenger starts off by giving us an idea of the types of arguments there are. He offers some examples of lead-ins which is always helpful for me in getting started. These lead-ins give me a sense of whether or not I am getting off on the right foot, plus they give me an idea of what makes a strong opening statement. When writing our argument paper he wants us to know that it is ok to have a passionate point but be careful not to be over zealous on the emotion. Then Ballenger gives us ideas how to lay out the process, setting up the hypothesis and gathering information for or against the claim. He wants us to understand that there are many points to an argument so be flexible in your writing. It’s ok to write passionately about something but after all it is the truth that you are ultimately searching for. And finally, revision, revision, revision. It’s like putting the final touches on a piece of furniture. The piece of furniture looks good at the completion of construction but it isn’t a fine piece of furniture until it gets many coats of polyurethane, the satisfaction of shine.
I find this information very helpful in the process of writing. It clears the pathway to a better paper, in this case an argument paper. One point I’ve drawn from this reading is, what is my moral obligation? Am I obligated to write in a way that gets others to view this argument as I do or is it my obligation to write in a way that pulls in just the facts? It seems more logical to write in a manner in which each reader can decipher the words in their own mind and take their own stand, whether it be my stand or one of their own. My stand doesn’t have to be right or wrong just one that I am comfortable with. So for this paper I feel more compelled to take the writing stance of Richard Fulkerson, less aggressive, one that doesn’t have a motive to conquer everyone’s opinion but one that helps me make that decision that I believe in.

Writing an Argument by Bruce Ballenger supplies the reader with many good pointers on crafting an op-ed and supplies you with a good background on arguments in general.
What I found particularly informative and helpful were the listings of the “features for informal argument essays” and the “methods of development” sections of the article. Both of these sections gave the reader a good overall understanding and a starting point in writing an argument, rebuttal or general op-ed.
Ballenger also makes clear some of the most common pitfalls in writing an argument and gives the reader useful tips on how to watch out and avoid them. His explanation of how evidence can “…support,…refute,…show that a simple assertion, problem or idea is really more complex,…complicate,…” and “…test an idea…” opened up a new thought process on what evidence can do.
He comments that letters to editors “…frequently feature great examples of flawed arguments, including logical fallacies, poor reasoning, and a pitiful lack of audience awareness.” This supplies the impetus to thoroughly examine your supporting statements and evidence prior to actually writing a letter or an argument.
Ballenger is also adept at working in historical and cultural examples of arguments by utilizing Plato, Aristotle, and Cicero and then referring to examples from his own personal life involving friends and family.
The information in this article will be useful in our upcoming projects, both the argument paper and the op-ed, as well as giving us the ability to compose a real life letter to an editor and not sound like an idiot.